"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -- Jeremiah 29:11
This verse I hold on to and remind myself that my future was set for me. The things that are happening or will happen in my life were just that, plans that God set for me. I sometimes want to question those plans or try and alter them to make them my own but I always come back to understand that God made them for a reason and I need to step back and let him keep control.
Every child has a dream of what they want to be when they grow up, want to be daddy's little princess, a doctor, lawyer, etc. I remember growing up and wondering why I was with my grandparents, why I didn't have my dad in the picture. My mom is a GREAT person and she loves me with all her heart and would do ANYTHING in this world for me. I just wanted to know why my 'dad' wasn't there. I remember being a typical kid, playing, laughing, going to church, being with my family and having all I could EVER need. My papaw was my 'papaw' and my 'daddy' and I was perfectly okay with that. My cousin Jessica and my Aunt Jackie were my bestest friends and that was all I needed. I just considered myself lucky because I had my momma and my nanny that were playing the 'mom' role for me :) I never really thought much after the fact about the 'dad' situation until I started kindergarten. Don't get me wrong, my papaw did EVERYTHING that a dad would do for me and I was blessed but seeing all your friends from school having their dads with them made me 'wonder' why I didn't. Did I do something wrong? Was I being punished? Did God not want me to have a dad? Did my dad die? What was going on and where was he at?! I remember asking where he was and I never really did get an answer... probably because I was WAY to young to understand. I would ask but quickly got the subject changed. I seen pictures and would ask and was never really answered. I can remember growing up and being a 'happy' little girl who was the center of my papaw's world and that was acceptable to me. As I got a little bit older I asked again and my papaw told me that in fact I did have a dad he just didn't live here. He lived in another state and that picture that I always wanted to know who it was in fact was my dad. He WAS alive. He just wasn't here, in my life, and probably wasn't going to be. I left it at that. I had an answer that I had been looking for. I felt so much relief to know that indeed I wasn't different, I wasn't being punished, and I was loved, or at least I was hoping he (my dad) loved me. I never really thought much more about it because I had FINALLY found the answer that I had been questioning. My papaw told me, "you have a right to know that you have a dad, what he looks like, and who he is." and that was all I needed to hear. I grew up wondering and FINALLY I was able to find out. That part of my life was just kept quiet and not mentioned. Little did I know that in the next several years my WHOLE entire world was about to be turned UPSIDE down!!!
I'm going to end there, I found out that question, "why didn't I have a dad" and "where was he at"!! Next time we can talk about how this changed my world FOREVER!!
Until Then,
Megan xoxo
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Childhooh Cancer Awareness Month-- Love you sweet Alex :)
"Live your life with arms wide open.... Today is where your book begins... The rest is still unwritten"..... Life is crazy and sometimes like a giant puzzle or a game of cards... You have to make the best of it and keep going :)
Tonight and I was laying down watching television, it just hit me that it is Childhood Cancer Awareness and I felt like I needed to just share the 'little' (yes, little because no, I don't have cancer nor have a child with cancer but have worked with one VERY sweet and special little boy who DOES have this nasty disease) cancer journey I have gotten to go on the past 7 months!! I know that cancer is a nasty disease that claims the lives of MANY people each year but have we ever stopped to imagine how it affects these poor children?? These children that have barely gotten to live their life while those of us who are older have gotten to enjoy most of the things that life has to offer?? I'm not trying to sound biased when I say that, but it is just VERY different when it comes to a child... The thought of battling this and your precious baby NOT making it, or knowing that there will NEVER be a cure, or better yet that your child will NEVER completely be CANCER FREE!! Sweet Alex is a little boy that changed my life FOREVER..... He was the child that I aided for at his elementary school last school year (2010-2011) and he is a child with cancer. He is actually battling a very NASTY cancer and he just so happens to be one of those precious angels that will spend the rest of his life battling this disease... If you see him, you would NEVER know that anything is wrong with him or that he has been through more than some of us will EVER have to endure in our whole entire lifetime because he is ALL smiles even when he is sick, hurting, or can barely move.... He puts that smile on his face and can light up a room simply by walking into it :)
There are a few things that I wanna put out there that I'm just curious if ANY of you know what it means.... the term 46/7.... Do you know what that means?? I do..... This simply means that 46 children are diagnosed with cancer EVERY SINGLE DAY and that 7 children will die EVERY SINGLE DAY.... This is a SADDENING thing and nobody unless you have a child can completely understand what most of these parents of children call their 'cancer-world'.... It's something that I have NO clue about because I'm not a parent but with those statistics, You would think that we could BRING AWARENESS as individuals on this topic. I was reading this morning and sweet Alex's mom Andrea posted something that made me stop and actually shed a few tears.... I will share with you now what she said..... "They ride tricycles in the hallway, not in the park. They know names of their chemo's instead of their classmates. Their central lines have names. Nurses and doctors are their new families. They think hair is over-rated! Their laughter can make a heart melt! Their strength will make a grown person cry! If you've ever seen a kid fight cancer, it will change your life forever!!".... I will tell you this, my life has been forever changed by watching my precious Alex go through this nasty battle! I find is VERY sad at how there is NO mention of Childhood Cancer Awareness but yet we hear ALL about Breast Cancer and such... I know that is HORRIBLE to but think of these precious children who spend a TON of their life in and out of hospitals and things and go through HORRIBLE adult dosages of chemotherapy and such. These precious souls deserve some sort of 'awareness' as well!
Love....these are NORMAL kids (they may be a little different) but they are HUMAN beings just like us. Simply loving them and sending them a card or a small little care package whether you know them are not lights up their world :) I know personally that not many of us could make the most out of laying in a hospital being poked and prodded on would be enjoyable but yet they HAVE to go through that while we are ALL out enjoying our lives. Its those simple things that bring a smile to their faces and also HELP the parents to see their precious angels fighting so hard just SMILE! Please remember that September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS month... WEAR GOLD and help raise awareness for these sweet babies!! They deserve it just like EVERYONE else :)
Much Love,
Megan :)
Tonight and I was laying down watching television, it just hit me that it is Childhood Cancer Awareness and I felt like I needed to just share the 'little' (yes, little because no, I don't have cancer nor have a child with cancer but have worked with one VERY sweet and special little boy who DOES have this nasty disease) cancer journey I have gotten to go on the past 7 months!! I know that cancer is a nasty disease that claims the lives of MANY people each year but have we ever stopped to imagine how it affects these poor children?? These children that have barely gotten to live their life while those of us who are older have gotten to enjoy most of the things that life has to offer?? I'm not trying to sound biased when I say that, but it is just VERY different when it comes to a child... The thought of battling this and your precious baby NOT making it, or knowing that there will NEVER be a cure, or better yet that your child will NEVER completely be CANCER FREE!! Sweet Alex is a little boy that changed my life FOREVER..... He was the child that I aided for at his elementary school last school year (2010-2011) and he is a child with cancer. He is actually battling a very NASTY cancer and he just so happens to be one of those precious angels that will spend the rest of his life battling this disease... If you see him, you would NEVER know that anything is wrong with him or that he has been through more than some of us will EVER have to endure in our whole entire lifetime because he is ALL smiles even when he is sick, hurting, or can barely move.... He puts that smile on his face and can light up a room simply by walking into it :)
There are a few things that I wanna put out there that I'm just curious if ANY of you know what it means.... the term 46/7.... Do you know what that means?? I do..... This simply means that 46 children are diagnosed with cancer EVERY SINGLE DAY and that 7 children will die EVERY SINGLE DAY.... This is a SADDENING thing and nobody unless you have a child can completely understand what most of these parents of children call their 'cancer-world'.... It's something that I have NO clue about because I'm not a parent but with those statistics, You would think that we could BRING AWARENESS as individuals on this topic. I was reading this morning and sweet Alex's mom Andrea posted something that made me stop and actually shed a few tears.... I will share with you now what she said..... "They ride tricycles in the hallway, not in the park. They know names of their chemo's instead of their classmates. Their central lines have names. Nurses and doctors are their new families. They think hair is over-rated! Their laughter can make a heart melt! Their strength will make a grown person cry! If you've ever seen a kid fight cancer, it will change your life forever!!".... I will tell you this, my life has been forever changed by watching my precious Alex go through this nasty battle! I find is VERY sad at how there is NO mention of Childhood Cancer Awareness but yet we hear ALL about Breast Cancer and such... I know that is HORRIBLE to but think of these precious children who spend a TON of their life in and out of hospitals and things and go through HORRIBLE adult dosages of chemotherapy and such. These precious souls deserve some sort of 'awareness' as well!
Love....these are NORMAL kids (they may be a little different) but they are HUMAN beings just like us. Simply loving them and sending them a card or a small little care package whether you know them are not lights up their world :) I know personally that not many of us could make the most out of laying in a hospital being poked and prodded on would be enjoyable but yet they HAVE to go through that while we are ALL out enjoying our lives. Its those simple things that bring a smile to their faces and also HELP the parents to see their precious angels fighting so hard just SMILE! Please remember that September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS month... WEAR GOLD and help raise awareness for these sweet babies!! They deserve it just like EVERYONE else :)
Much Love,
Megan :)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
How February 7, 2010 changed my life forever......
**Sooo, I’m sitting here tonight and just thought I would share a little bit about whats on my mind and how I’ve experienced a MAJOR change since February :) Soooooo…. here goes nothing :)
Soooooo….. My life took a DRASTIC change on February 7th, 2011 when I got my ‘first’ full time job working at the school as an aide and not a sub… This was something I was SOOO excited about but sooooo nervous all at the same time…. It was something I wasn’t sure if I was going to succeed at or make a complete idiot of myself…. (My job was working with an autistic child who also has cancer and fetal alcohol syndrome…… so you can imagine how nervous I was — especially since I had NEVER met this child before until this day)… I met the lady that is over me and she walked down with me to get my sweet Alex off the school bus and as soon as he smiled at me, MY HEART MELTED… At that moment I knew that I was going to ABSOLUTELY love my job :) I didn’t realize exactly how difficult his journey through life was but just from reading his life story, getting to know him, being told about him, reading about it….. I just BROKE down…. It was probably one of the most heart-breaking stories I have EVER read in my whole life…. Then I started questioning God as to why this had to happen to him, I just didn’t understand why someone with such a HUGE smile and ALL the courage in the world had to suffer from such a HORRIBLE disease…. I just wanted to know what there was I could do to take the pain away from him, but there isn’t… Like I mentioned, I questioned it, argued about it, cried about it (whenever I was trying to sleep at night) and just wanted it to go away for him…. I as a human being complain about EVERY little thing that I don’t like (just like my sunburn that I have now) and then I just think about what all this poor child has had to endure in his lifetime….. It makes me stop to realize just how precious, special, courageous, talented, brave, and the list could go on…. I stopped to realize, this child was my new HERO in life… No matter what obstacle was thrown in his direction at 6 years old, he has NEVER given up… even with the fact he will NEVER be completely cancer free, he is still going strong, still smiling, and fighting EVERY SINGLE DAY…. Whenever I wake up to go to work, I know that this precious child can be sicker than anything, and he is still going to come to school smiling, being his “Alex” self as I like to call it… This child has touched my heart and I am SOOO blessed to be a part of his life, helping him succeed and be as normal as possible!! :] My heart breaks for ANY parent that has to go through this with their children because its SOOO unfair that these poor angels have to suffer and endure so much at such a young age, but just remember God has a plan, a VERY big plan and there is a reason that these sweet Angels are going through what they are going through… He loves them just like he loves us and he can use them in a ‘special’ way that he might not be able to use us… especially in teaching us just how strong we need to be and how we need to trust in him to get us through…
As I sit and type this, I can’t help but tear up thinking about it…. I just PRAY that things continue to look up and the God holds on tight to ALL these precious angels that battle this HORRIBLE/NASTY/DEADLY disease and EVENTUALLY there IS a cure for this disease…. Please take time to think about all these children who will never be ‘over’ this and have faced this horrible thing all their lives… They are just like us, no different except maybe bald, have a disease, or whatever… There heart is still the same and they are humans to, who do have feelings and compassion and just want to be like everyone else… cause trust me, they are just like us all :)
Much Love— Megan!
Soooooo….. My life took a DRASTIC change on February 7th, 2011 when I got my ‘first’ full time job working at the school as an aide and not a sub… This was something I was SOOO excited about but sooooo nervous all at the same time…. It was something I wasn’t sure if I was going to succeed at or make a complete idiot of myself…. (My job was working with an autistic child who also has cancer and fetal alcohol syndrome…… so you can imagine how nervous I was — especially since I had NEVER met this child before until this day)… I met the lady that is over me and she walked down with me to get my sweet Alex off the school bus and as soon as he smiled at me, MY HEART MELTED… At that moment I knew that I was going to ABSOLUTELY love my job :) I didn’t realize exactly how difficult his journey through life was but just from reading his life story, getting to know him, being told about him, reading about it….. I just BROKE down…. It was probably one of the most heart-breaking stories I have EVER read in my whole life…. Then I started questioning God as to why this had to happen to him, I just didn’t understand why someone with such a HUGE smile and ALL the courage in the world had to suffer from such a HORRIBLE disease…. I just wanted to know what there was I could do to take the pain away from him, but there isn’t… Like I mentioned, I questioned it, argued about it, cried about it (whenever I was trying to sleep at night) and just wanted it to go away for him…. I as a human being complain about EVERY little thing that I don’t like (just like my sunburn that I have now) and then I just think about what all this poor child has had to endure in his lifetime….. It makes me stop to realize just how precious, special, courageous, talented, brave, and the list could go on…. I stopped to realize, this child was my new HERO in life… No matter what obstacle was thrown in his direction at 6 years old, he has NEVER given up… even with the fact he will NEVER be completely cancer free, he is still going strong, still smiling, and fighting EVERY SINGLE DAY…. Whenever I wake up to go to work, I know that this precious child can be sicker than anything, and he is still going to come to school smiling, being his “Alex” self as I like to call it… This child has touched my heart and I am SOOO blessed to be a part of his life, helping him succeed and be as normal as possible!! :] My heart breaks for ANY parent that has to go through this with their children because its SOOO unfair that these poor angels have to suffer and endure so much at such a young age, but just remember God has a plan, a VERY big plan and there is a reason that these sweet Angels are going through what they are going through… He loves them just like he loves us and he can use them in a ‘special’ way that he might not be able to use us… especially in teaching us just how strong we need to be and how we need to trust in him to get us through…
As I sit and type this, I can’t help but tear up thinking about it…. I just PRAY that things continue to look up and the God holds on tight to ALL these precious angels that battle this HORRIBLE/NASTY/DEADLY disease and EVENTUALLY there IS a cure for this disease…. Please take time to think about all these children who will never be ‘over’ this and have faced this horrible thing all their lives… They are just like us, no different except maybe bald, have a disease, or whatever… There heart is still the same and they are humans to, who do have feelings and compassion and just want to be like everyone else… cause trust me, they are just like us all :)
Much Love— Megan!
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