**Sooo, I’m sitting here tonight and just thought I would share a little bit about whats on my mind and how I’ve experienced a MAJOR change since February :) Soooooo…. here goes nothing :)
Soooooo….. My life took a DRASTIC change on February 7th, 2011 when I got my ‘first’ full time job working at the school as an aide and not a sub… This was something I was SOOO excited about but sooooo nervous all at the same time…. It was something I wasn’t sure if I was going to succeed at or make a complete idiot of myself…. (My job was working with an autistic child who also has cancer and fetal alcohol syndrome…… so you can imagine how nervous I was — especially since I had NEVER met this child before until this day)… I met the lady that is over me and she walked down with me to get my sweet Alex off the school bus and as soon as he smiled at me, MY HEART MELTED… At that moment I knew that I was going to ABSOLUTELY love my job :) I didn’t realize exactly how difficult his journey through life was but just from reading his life story, getting to know him, being told about him, reading about it….. I just BROKE down…. It was probably one of the most heart-breaking stories I have EVER read in my whole life…. Then I started questioning God as to why this had to happen to him, I just didn’t understand why someone with such a HUGE smile and ALL the courage in the world had to suffer from such a HORRIBLE disease…. I just wanted to know what there was I could do to take the pain away from him, but there isn’t… Like I mentioned, I questioned it, argued about it, cried about it (whenever I was trying to sleep at night) and just wanted it to go away for him…. I as a human being complain about EVERY little thing that I don’t like (just like my sunburn that I have now) and then I just think about what all this poor child has had to endure in his lifetime….. It makes me stop to realize just how precious, special, courageous, talented, brave, and the list could go on…. I stopped to realize, this child was my new HERO in life… No matter what obstacle was thrown in his direction at 6 years old, he has NEVER given up… even with the fact he will NEVER be completely cancer free, he is still going strong, still smiling, and fighting EVERY SINGLE DAY…. Whenever I wake up to go to work, I know that this precious child can be sicker than anything, and he is still going to come to school smiling, being his “Alex” self as I like to call it… This child has touched my heart and I am SOOO blessed to be a part of his life, helping him succeed and be as normal as possible!! :] My heart breaks for ANY parent that has to go through this with their children because its SOOO unfair that these poor angels have to suffer and endure so much at such a young age, but just remember God has a plan, a VERY big plan and there is a reason that these sweet Angels are going through what they are going through… He loves them just like he loves us and he can use them in a ‘special’ way that he might not be able to use us… especially in teaching us just how strong we need to be and how we need to trust in him to get us through…
As I sit and type this, I can’t help but tear up thinking about it…. I just PRAY that things continue to look up and the God holds on tight to ALL these precious angels that battle this HORRIBLE/NASTY/DEADLY disease and EVENTUALLY there IS a cure for this disease…. Please take time to think about all these children who will never be ‘over’ this and have faced this horrible thing all their lives… They are just like us, no different except maybe bald, have a disease, or whatever… There heart is still the same and they are humans to, who do have feelings and compassion and just want to be like everyone else… cause trust me, they are just like us all :)
Much Love— Megan!
